The payoff is the same - long term you get stable finances, fitness, and a clean driving record...
i think too many people risk this payoff. nobody is going to notice .. or .. it will only happen once.
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Most people can't stick to their commitments, that's all it really takes is staying power.
i can honestly say that during my m, i never even thought about looking at another man. didn't matter what kind of argument we got into. i was committed to my marriage.
sometimes i think this 'committed' feeling i have is what makes it difficult to detach. it's not a co-dependent need. it's simply my values and i value my marriage. you don't run from it when there is trouble. you don't solve anything by looking outside your m. sometimes telling me to detach is like telling me to abandon my core values. usually when gucci says "set them free and start dating others" .. to me, that's cheating. and it's hard for me to do this when i haven't even been served yet.
i almost tried it .. ended up just meeting someone for coffee to determine if a real date was in the cards. but it felt so wrong to meet others while separated. it's not even a 180 that i would want to consider.
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It sucks, and it is work, but its do-able.
your post was so promising .. until this. i think most aren't willing to put in the work. that's why infidelity is so common.
it's enough to make me remove myself from the dating pool.