What are you feeling, underneath the anger, when you react with the desire to dig?
rejection. and knowing that he has hurt me and doesn't care. no, this is not mind-reading. in the past, he has said things that hurt me and when i told him how much it hurt me, all i got was a blank stare and a "i don't know why you're hurt. i stand by my comment."
It doesn't sound like he was very caring at that moment. How do you think he might have been feeling?
Are you caring about how he feels when you get in your digs?
Did you care how he felt when you went icy cold and passive aggressive at Christmas?
Do you feel more valuable and lovable when you punish people when you feel hurt by them?
