I think MWD woudl tell you its the opposite.. that you do it til you feel it.
I think she would tell you that you make the changes first and the good feelings about the relationship will start to creep back when that happens...
SHe makes a point in her fisrt book DivorceBusting that a lot of couples stalemate themselves by sitting and waiting for the mood to strike them tow ork on their relationship and their lifestyle...
Her argument, which is the classic SBT theory is that you DO first and feel LATER
Your husband is in a classic "rut" where things are not where he wants them but instead of ACTING to CHANGE them for the better he chooses to brood about them and that just made him feel even worse ... So now he thinks ESCAPE ... ya ya that's gonna make me feel better I KNOW it...
THis is classic route to infidelity too..
Marriage turns sour Feel misrable Brood for a while Feel even more miserable Hit the PC and start trolling I feel much better now!
It's an unhealthy pattern for sure
What I would do is put a PLAN together and give HIM 50% of the work to do... don't say it mean just give him half and tell him if this is what he wants he has to work for it...
At the end of two weeks you have yours all checked off and he can SEE who is at fault... if its not done..
I am big on writing things down and breaking work up... I have a spreasheet of TODO's for my wife and I here and its all documented up... If one of us starts to slack off we KNOW its us and we can't point fingers
This i think is part of your pobelm is he doens't SEE the work you are donig...
Just put a plan together with a talbe and headings for
TASK | ASSIGNEE | DATE COMPLETED | STATUS {open,closed}
And put it all in there and make him aware of the document
Put all the cloets on there as separate tasks, put the houseork on there etc...
Once you start using that he can SEE who is to blame and he won't like it, but teh argumetns will likley stop at least
