I thought I was detaching. I wasn't around a lot and when I was I didn't talk to her. I guess she thought that meant I was angry. The only time I was mean at all was when we were talking about money and the day we told the kids we were getting D. That night was not good. You are right, her mind has been made-up for a long time, which is why she didn't try at all after the blow-up. She was just in planning mode. In the meantime, my emotions were playing havoc with me.
The porn stuff happened late at night after everyone else was in bed. Primarily after W said she didn't want to "get lucky", or unlucky, as the case may be, and went to bed herself. I thought it was ok to "take care of it" myself. Guess not.
I know things are going to get better and the place that I can afford actually don't look too bad in the pictures! One is even on a small lake so I can easily take the kids fishing and swimming! That would be pretty cool. My friend who went through this and reconnected with his wife also lives very there. His S was in my S's school class last year too.
When we do the mediation thing, I will offer to pay her the child support and alimony $ as if she was working full-time. The law allows for these payments to be based on potential earnings. Maybe I would agree to a short stint or part-time, but if she won't take that deal, we will probably end-up in court and leave it to the Judge. Hopefully he is more reasonable than the commissioner.
I feel much better than I did this morning. Thanks everyone!
