Q : Are all your H's expenses traceable or does he usually use cash to purchase things?
I would just start bookeeping all the expenses and produce a report showing him where things are going... and just tell him "These are the facts... If you want to discuss THOSE I am happy to do so... and that took me x hours to do... and I didn't BLAME anyone while I was doing it. Next time you are worried about finances direct your energy into something construtive instead of making people feel like crap."
And walk away
I am pretty good with bookeeping and stuff if you have wrough data you want organized... I don't mind helping you get that together for him
