I see no boundaries and unless you can set some and become an equal in this partnership and that would require a huge strength on your part and consistency, then I really see this being the pattern for life.
I would like to feel some passion from you,feel some love for your wife. It is that passion that will give you clear boundaries to work on and a goal to aim for and importantly a breaking point.
Naej, I appreciate your concern and feel the passion in your posts.
I don't understand how you see no boundaries on my end. Maybe I don't convey when I'm doing something well. Maybe the boundary-setting I do is of a small nature and not conveyed in my posts. Maybe you and I have a different definition of what a boundary is. I consider speaking-up to be setting a boundary. I don't say yes to everything. In the past I probably said no too often.
I do feel the connection returning in my R with my W. I think I can say that I have a passion for making this M work. I enjoy seeing the positive changes in her. She is losing weight and getting tone from the consistent exercise. She went out and bought some stylish exercise clothes. She is looking sharp.
Even with the unemployment, she states that we have a quality of life. I consider that a success, that we've been able to manage the stressors associated with unemployment.
In some ways my rigidity in the past and setting too rigid of boundries created a problem. I was too controlling about certain things. Maybe the problem isn't a failure to set boundaries, but setting boundaries around certain issues--those that do harm to the M.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
