13...We have a problem (cont'd from Waiting...)

[TeaEarlGreyHot]

I recently returned from a trip to the US Pacific Northwest & to British Columbia. Although it was mostly a vacation, it's underlying purpose was to spread my mom's ashes (as she requested) along a portion of the Oregon Coast.

For the most part, it was a pleasant trip. There were no major disagreements worth noting as we often travel well together and it was mostly my trip to organize. We spent several days in Seattle and in Vancouver. Although we had been both places before, it had been a long time since we had been to Seattle and we had not spent much time in Vancouver, BC on our way to Alaska. While much of the US was sweltering in the summer heat, it was comfortably cool where we were.

Before heading down to the Oregon coast, we stopped and stayed at Mount Rainier (where we got married). While we had a pleasant time at the various sights and shared some marvelous meals during the trip, it was hardly a romantic get away even at the place where we got married. I did not expect it to be any other way and by having no expectations of romance, I also would not/could not be disappointed by it's absence.

No, it was more like two friends or roommates traveling together.

Three things were worth noting.

First, in contrast to people in our area, in a broad geographic sense, the people in this part of the US and BC were noticeably more fit and trim. I make the broader geographic reference because with the University just down the street from where I live, many of the students and people who work at the university aren't indicative of the physical fitness of the broader communities in the surrounding county or counties. In BC, I have not seen so much exposed skin (on people wearing clothes) since high school. The fitness (or lack thereof) are immediately evident under those circumstances. My Canadian friends have pointed out that when the sun is out, so is the skin. And I probably saw the best set of buns on a woman as I have ever seen on a hike up Queen Anne hill in Seattle.

That brings me to the second point; the difference in our physical capability and capacity are becoming very telling. Since April, I have been walking daily (first, about 8 miles per day and now over 10). As a result, I have dropped 28 pounds since the beginning of the year and the leading digit of my weight has changed. I can "hoof it" where my wife cannot and so more and more often, the distance between point A and point B and the effort it takes to move between two points becomes more and more an issue and consideration. While I had no real difficulty moving at 5400 feet above sea level, she was quickly winded "trying to keep up."

Finally, one moment can make all the difference. In my mom's case, it was a single day visit to this stretch of Oregon Beach on a trip where she traveled with me and my son almost 25 years ago to the day. As she told me a number of times, that day in that place was probably one of the best days of her life (and the reason that she wanted part of her ashes spread there).

One moment made a difference when my previous wife told me no to sex (ironically, when we were in Seattle shortly after her affair was revealed). I was determined that the pain of that experience was not going to take away the emotional connection that I developed with this part of the country. And one moment made a difference when my current wife made the same choice (though we were home in our kitchen when she made that choice).

But something else was also there for me when we were at Mount Rainier that was more than noting a sexless existence...it was a sense of connection to that place. Not of just having a life (or life having me) but a sense of actively being alive...something I have not really felt for some time.

The Captain