W and I are going to my therapist on Friday AM. She wanted to come. It's definitely doomsday for me.
W will not budge, DB guidance isn't working, books aren't helping, W thinks its better to cut a person who loves her and our kids more than anything out of her life. A family man who would walk through fire for them. I am about to give up on all this acting and pretending that DB tells me to do. I am done fighting. My actions over the past 6 months should be enough to show her how much I have changed and how my priorities have changed. If that's not enough, then I have done all I can do.
I have been a model H for 5+ months and it had gotten me nowhere. My W exhibits some obvious mood swings (nice one day, cold the next), which are probably hormones, but something she'd probably blame me for. She won't budge. I guess she prides herself on holding her ground. Real mature.
My W likely feels that there's nothing to repair no matter how "perfect" I am. She feels like the relationship is dead. Friends, yes. H and W, no. She doesn't believe in reconciliation. She doesn't believe that love can survive and return to the M by giving it a chance.
But most importantly, she doesn't believe our two small children will be damaged by this. She thinks they will adjust. She thinks that destroying their family and family life is the better option. Selfish. And I also think she believes I will be there all the time to ease the transition. I will be there for my kids, not her.
