Keep in mind that YOU cannot fix her, YOU cannot change her feelings, YOU have to set boundaries (and enforce them) to protect YOU and YOUR KIDS.
If you make it your business to figure her out or try to fix her, you will drain yourself dry and fail to do what you need to do here: detach from her unhealthy behavior.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-