Lost and Confused

[Bethechange]

He hasn't said he wants to leave, he just says he isn't sure he wants to continue to do "this", meaning stay married to me. He is in counseling and his counselor said he could not contact the OW if he wanted to have any chance of doing the right thing. He seems to be working hard to get himself together, but he says that doesn't mean he'll feel any more like staying. We just bought a big house together and have joint custody of four kids, so neither one of us wants the big mess that will come with a divorce. We both were divorced from other spouses in 2006 and jumped in way too fast. It's a little late for us to figure that out, but we'll see what we can do. It is so hard changing and refocusing. Hang in there. I don't know how I would handle it if there was an OW totally in the picture for sure. She's there, but at least she's somewhere off to the side for now!