You can't have everything, where would you put it?

[kat727]

Ouch!!! Thanks for sharing TMI! lol

kat

[ClingingToHope]

Loooooonnnnggggg night.

Woke up with mind swirling about STBXW and the fact I could be divorced soon.

For a long time I said to myself I would not go to the day the judge signs off.

Today, I decided I'm going to. Not showing up lets her off the hook. I want to be there when the gavel comes down.

One thing I didn't add from last night is that 37 called. She was going to come to the hot wings challenge but couldn't get out in time. We talked for 30 minutes and she filled me in on her family drama.

When it was over I reminded myself -- in between waves of pain -- that there's no long-term future with 37 and this is just conversation to get me through.

It's just fun to have a female to talk to. This weekend I struck up another text conversation with 31 from the church group. I hadn't heard from her in two weeks. It turns out she lost her phone and all of her numbers.

Back to work and spending time explaining how painful eating volcanic hot wings can be.

Tonight I go through the house I'd like to rent with D8 and then perhaps we'll go swimming. It's my night to have her.

I cover real estate for my newspaper and the July home sales came out today. Without the tax credit, sales plunged more than 40 percent. Average prices are down $15k from two years ago.

What this means is STBXW won't be able to sell that house for a long, long, long time unless the bank is willing to take a significant loss on it.

That puts me in a tough spot. I like the fact she's having to live with consequences, but it's going to be another rope between STBXW and I and another thing to blame her unhappiness on rather than to look at herself.

[awest1217]

Take care of yourself! I love buffalo wings and as I have tried many different types, I have learned that some really can eat you up, especially now compared to when I was in high school.

I hope all goes well with the house to rent.

[ImprovedRomeo]

CTH, glad to hear things are getting close to being finalized on the D front. I can't wait for that day when it's all over. It'll be a huge weight coming off my shoulders.

Yes it's nice to have a female to talk to...as long as you keep things in perspective- I get attached too easily. If I'm attacted to her I'm already thinking about family and kids with her after 2 texts- now you know why I chose my screen name (specially the old one)! LOL - I mean how can you have a HOT female friend?! that's just torture hahaha

On the house stuff- she's made her choices and there's nothing you can do about the consequences...it is what it is. The great thing is that her feelings are not your responsibility.

[ClingingToHope]

SR, my problem with 37 is the opposite. I can't see a life and kids with her or even introducing her to my girls as a GF. She's very pretty and has a good job and ... I don't know, she smokes and is a dedicated late night partier and that's not really what I want.

She'd at best be a fling, but she's had that happen to her in the past so I don't want to be yet another guy looking for just one thing -- even though it's been a long time.

So I have to remind myself she isn't what I'm looking for -- even if there were any opportunities down the road.

Funny thing is if I rent the house I'm looking at tonight, 37 and I will be living in the same neighborhood.

[ClingingToHope]

Went through the house. It's pretty nice and bigger than it looks on the outside. I won't be able to fit both couches and a chair into the living room. But the main bedroom is decent sized. The upstairs bedrooms are big enough. The kitchen is OK. The basement is pretty big but it isn't finished. But if I keep it clean, put some carpets down there it can be a decent play area.

Hey, it's going to work for a couple of years.

[ClingingToHope]

Went through the house. It's pretty nice and bigger than it looks on the outside. I won't be able to fit both couches and a chair into the living room. But the main bedroom is decent sized. The upstairs bedrooms are big enough. The kitchen is OK. The basement is pretty big but it isn't finished. But if I keep it clean, put some carpets down there it can be a decent play area.

Hey, it's going to work for a couple of years. By summer of 2012 I should have about $10k for a house.

[CityGirl]

I am guessing you name the ladies you are courting (37, 31) by their ages. FTR, if one day my future boyfriend names me by my age I hope he lies and says 25 to his buddies

I feel like I am getting such an education about men and women and dating here today! So you would consider a fling even though you knew for sure it would be nothing more? I am not judging I really am just curious as to how this all works!

I would be mortified if somebody I was sleeping with was embarrassed of me and did not feel I was fit for public viewing, lol!

I mean, who doesn't like sex? I guess I always think that compatibility, shared values and some commonalities are things to find out first because really, sex is a pretty easy problem to solve, right?

I feel like I am way out of the loop. My friend said to me today I was like Mother Theresa and am thinking that was NOT a compliment, lol! Maybe I am too prudish.

I feel like I am learning about all this interesting dating stuff from a man's point of view... it's all very good!

Good work on the house, sounds like it's a good transition for you!

[Gardener]

IR,

Yes it's nice to have a female to talk to...as long as you keep things in perspective- I get attached too easily. If I'm attacted to her I'm already thinking about family and kids with her after 2 texts-

Right now, we are all extremely vulnerable: needy, needy, needy. Three excellent reasons to stay away from relationships until we have healed and no longer need a relationship to feel - to be - whole and complete..

Read the "Be Careful You Don't Rebound" thread on this forum.

Peace,

[awest1217]

Glad the house will work for you. It sounds like the girls no longer would have to share which is great and maybe for cheap you can get some plain sheets to put up in the basement around the walls just to make it look more "girly" for the girls to play at. At least with sheets it will hide the ugliness of the basement, but still be cheap to do especially with a staple gun. Unless there is nicer walls and just the cement floor, but some ideas.

Hopefully it all goes through and you can get this house because then your worries about being quiet or sharing a room will go away, especially with D11 hitting the teens soon.