I think we go either way in the R we end up in. If a parent is controlling you either go into a R where you are the controlling one or where you are controlled. Never a healthy R. Until you resolve the internal damage which was done earlier in life.
I agree.
First M more like I was ( I have to admit this) controlled by wanting to please her.
My W now, I ended up being the controller because of the issues SHE had/has.
Either way not healthy.
Originally Posted By: steady
Makes you wonder about your mom - choosing to stay friends with a woman who had 3 affairs and humiliated her son. Amazing isn't it?
Yeah it does...to be fair the first one (A) happened 6 years into M and we tried to work through it. 3 years later I found out about at least an EA and during our year of "working on things" after that I found another one.
Makes me wonder what kind of woman I was married to as well...
Originally Posted By: Steady
I have learned and am living a transparent life where I can show the authentic me rather than 'hiding' it - both the good and bad sides of me. The real me IS good enough. I know I learned all these behavior mechanisms to cope with my R with my mom.
I like this ^^^^^^
It is still and always will be a work in progress.
Steady you are 45
I am 44
CD is 47
Sometimes the best gifts we receive are hard to open ...
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
