She called me after I got home tonight at work, a little later than normal. We chatted for about 10 minutes and I could tell she was either down, or tired. I told her I would talk to later tonight. She said she would call.
She called around 11:00 - simple chit chat about our day. Nothingn special. I told her that I missed our S4 - I wanted to say so badly that I missed her but I kept a little WILL POWER and did not say it. We ended the conversation with an ILY
Not too exciting day, but I'm starting to feel like she is pulling away. Is this normal for me to feel like she's pulling away when I'm pulling away too? I can't be there to read here, but she'll be back on Friday
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
The pulling away thing is like reading the stock market. If you watch it minute by minute you will go crazy. Just look at the overall trend by then end of the week. Make sure you do not say ILY first at the end of each phone call. If she consistently calls at a certain time make yourself unavailable during a few of those. You are not being very mysterious. GAL and detach and not always BE THERE for her. Her interest can never increase if you are always at her beckon call.
Me 44, W 39, S 6, D 6, M 21 Bomb June 18, 2010 I filed D July 20, 2010 W filed counter suit Aug 2 Rings came off Aug 5, 2010
Today is a tough day guys - just need to journal a little.
Well, it's been 2 days of solid DB, going on 3 with no mistakes. Haven't called her at all, she's always called me. She's called me 2X each day. Once in the afternoon and once at night.
I'm really missing her now, and I just want this all to get better - but with her so far away and not back to Friday I'm starting to feel the loneliness.
I remember when she would take trips like this in the past to MIL (she took about 6 trips a year, all 7-10 days each) I would feel awesome because I could do anythign I wanted to do for a week and be selfish. But now my mind has shifted and all I want to do is what is best for my family... and not having them here is pretty tough.
I just feel like she's slipping away day by day with me giving her space. It just feels so wrong, but I know that's what I have to do. It feels like I'm losing her one day at a time.
But I also recognize this is a crucial time, with her being away from home for 10 days. I know that if I push her, and be needy, she'll not miss me at all. The problem is, even with me being strong and giving space very well I think she still doesn't even think about me or miss me.
Last edited by john28; 08/04/1006:30 PM.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
Having a tough day, too. Going on vacation with H and 4 kids on Saturday and trying to get ready with H without interacting too much. I almost didn't go, thought I should GAL and maybe he would miss me, but I decided to go because I didn't want to ruin the kids trip at the last minute and raise questions since we haven't really separated yet, this both of us pulling away is very painful. I was so use to him being there for me and visa versa. I thought we did a pretty good job together, but apparently H thought differently, he says I'm a wonderful person and great at all the stuff I do at home, etc., but that he just isn't happy and feels trapped. Not exactly the summer I was hoping for and having trouble implementing GAL with this vacation looming.
M: 49 H: 51 Together since 11/2006 Married 8/2008 D: 16, 15, 12 Step S: 10 Bomb drop: 6/20/10 H Very unhappy and confused but staying and doing the work for now.
I'm part of the Father's Day Bomb club, too. What is it about that day! Glad to hear someone struggling and in about the same place as me. I was saying I missed him, wanted him, and all it got me was a loss of self respect, so I am trying this, although it is so hard.
M: 49 H: 51 Together since 11/2006 Married 8/2008 D: 16, 15, 12 Step S: 10 Bomb drop: 6/20/10 H Very unhappy and confused but staying and doing the work for now.
I'm part of the Father's Day Bomb club, too. What is it about that day! Glad to hear someone struggling and in about the same place as me. I was saying I missed him, wanted him, and all it got me was a loss of self respect, so I am trying this, although it is so hard.
Yeah, I think you, myself and Pinhead are all on the Father's Day Bomb Day. It's terrible. Now for pretty much the rest of my life I'm going to have remember what should be a great and loving day as one of complete pain and despair. Damn her. Why that day?
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
I thought it meant a lot of him to be a step dad and also for me to be there to parent his son, but he said he went from being a labor of love to something he wasn't sure he was willing to do. He made a promise to us less than two years ago, hardly seems fair. I'm hoping he comes around in a big way, but things are looking pretty bleak right now. can you tell me why an other wise rational man would leave a FB message between him and the OW up on the home computer on Father's Day. It's like he wanted to get caught while it was still an EA but who knows. Happy Father's Day to him!
For the life of me I can't understand why people do these things to each other. That's the part I have trouble accepting. If you say you love and respect me, then why?
M: 49 H: 51 Together since 11/2006 Married 8/2008 D: 16, 15, 12 Step S: 10 Bomb drop: 6/20/10 H Very unhappy and confused but staying and doing the work for now.
Why that day? My guess would be GUILT. Same as on Thanksgiving or Christmas. The pressure of being a family becomes so great that they crack and react emotionally.
