How To Tell The Kids

[A_goodman]

Dan,

You can do this. You are a hundred times stronger than you were in the beginning. You are headed to work where you are a stud.

Use the same skills and dilligence that have gotten you where you are professionally and apply them to this. You have been promoted all those times because you're a hard worker, are dedicated to detail and deal with people of different backgrounds well. I know the emotions are not going to go away, but you have shown the ability to TCB under pressure and stress. Now is the time to think of this as a business deal that needs to be saved. You're used to having employees and holding them accountable. Apply that to the L situation. You're used to doing the necessary research to make stuff happen at work. Use those skills to attack the uncertainty of this situation. I'm sure you have to enter difficult negotiations at work all the time. Rely on those skills to become the driver of the negotiation here and get the concessions you require.

Believe it or not, you have the stronger position here. Because she has no passion and doesn't really care about what it is she's fighting for. Yes she might have a crack attorney, but all that guy cares about is money. You are the ONLY person fighting for what's best for your kids. You are smarter than she is. You are better and more experienced professionally. those skills will help you. Take the reigns like you are the project manager in this deal and drive it where you want it.

Yesterday, she got the first shot by you and rocked you back a little. Don't stay on defense. Muster all your considerable resources and suppliment wherever you need to (L), then go on offense. You CAN do this. You know you can.

Follow up on the appeal or revision process. If it's possible to change it start the paperwork today and hound them until it gets done. Then start preparing to face W and her L in the mediation. Be so prepared that you can predict and outflank every thing they throw at you. Yes, as I understand mediation, you both have to agree. She is weak. Use the structure and rules they set forth to your advantage. Negotiate like you do at work. You'll run rings around them, but only if you approach it like work and dial in.

Dan. I mean this. You CAN do it. You don't have a choice.

Also, you're probably tired from not sleping well and this is a lot of stress piled on top of the normal stress that you've been going through. Force yourself to rest. Tonight. Then keep doing the things that make you happy. Don't start hitting the bottle. A couple while your relaxing is one thing. Hitting it hard because that's what you really feel like doing is going to work against you. Especially if you do anything even marginally stupid.

You're in training. Rest, excercize and stay healthy. Being physically primed will aid you in the job at hand.

I love ya man. Go kick this thing in the a$$!