So I feel like I got some closure last night. I called H and we spoke and I told him I felt confused by his "I love you/I really, really don't want a D...but we don't get along" spiel. I asked him if there was anything we could do to try to change that, MCing, something I could do/something he could do and he said, "Honestly no." Then we spoke some more and ping pong ensued and well I am glad we had that talk because I needed to hear it from him.
So that's it. I am going to see that L on Monday as planned but I wanted to talk to him first *just in case*.
Oh, on the phone he said "We both agree on this." And I said, "No, we don't." This is totally his choice. And I cannot stay like this any longer. His wishy-washy-ness all this time... I just can't understand it. Once again he reiterated how he's not seeing anyone and has no intention on ever being with someone again (uh huh). Then he says, "I am sure lots of guys will be calling you now...they probably already do." And I was thinking, Wth are you talking about and wth do you care? I am so not there but why does he even mention it? He doesn't want to be M to me so what does it matter if in the future I get a call from a guy?
I guess I will never know if he partially/used me for GC but when I stack up the story, it doesn't look good.
