Even though my sitch is just moving into the phase a lot of people are at it certainly seems like its over.
We started having discussions on how to tell the kids. I wanted to tell them together so we could discuss it as a group and answer any questions they had. She would not agree to that and said she wanted to deal separately with our own kids.
She also remarked that she was going to tell her S that most of this was caused by my S. The boys are just turned 11 and are like brothers as they have been together most of their lives. They go to school together and play on the same teams. I told her this was wrong and they dont need to know any details just what is happening. She would not give that commitment.
I then told her I would not tolerate that and if she proceeded with it that I would let our joint friends know what she is doing ( they are all family people and would not be impressed ) and also that I would no longer take any responsibility for minding her son when she is on shift work which would put her in a bind.
Did not want to go down this path but want to discourage her on poisoning the boys. Her S will prob take this much worse than mine and she is just trying to deflect any blame off herself. i even said that I dont mind sharing the blame for the breakup equally with her if that helps ease things but that didn't change things. She is going to tell her S today so we'll see what happens.
She was pissed that i took such a rigid stance on this and actually moved into the spare room last night which I guess she thinks punishes me.
She counts my behavior in this matter as controlling and has said the same.Maybe but I think it is important to protect the kids from any blame here as it will be difficult enough on them.
She would not even look at me or say anything. When I said good morning the kids responded and started chatting and she just grunted.
Her maturity level is just incredible. I just wonder how i never noticed this over the last 8 yrs.
