YES you make perfect sense and I totally understand where you are coming from. I too feel that I have given 150% more that most husbands would have given. (Of course there are some here that I can't compare too) but...... Just like I cannot really tell you what to do or what I would do if I was in your situation BECASUE I am NOT YOU. I have not experienced you what you have in life. Each of us has our own baggage that we carry around. We can’t really say what our spouses should do or what we would do if we were them. First of all I would NOT have been in their situations in the first place. Not that I have not had the opportunity... I just made a better judgment call at the time. With my first wife... Well she became hooked on drugs without my knowledge (cocaine). One day she just took off and left me with a three month old baby girl and a three year old toddler. AND I let her go. I raised my girls by myself until I met my current wife. I still wonder to this day what life would have been like if I had perused my EX. If I would have put half the effort I put into this marriage to try to get her help instead of just let her crash and destroy her life last I heard she is living in the street somewhere up north. Unfortunately some of us I think were put on this earth to be the helpers of others. If we all were as good as you and I then there would be no need for marriage councilors or police or judges or Wars for that matter. YES THEY DO NEED TO “MAN OR WOMAN UP”… and I believe it will happen someday. They know what they did. And as much as we want to hear them say it… is it really for their good or ours? What part of DBing taught me was how “needy” I really was. How really UN attractive that can be. I wanted to hear praise from my wife... I needed to “Hear” it… But then after DBing for awhile I realized sometimes we can hear things without our ears…My dad was a great example... he was “Old school” you know “Men are Men”…and this was great .. But I do not think he EVER told me he loved me. But you know what? I know he did. He didn’t have to say it. So I guess what I am trying to say is that I think my wife…your husband are sorry for what they did. They know how they hurt us...and it shows by things they are doing now for us. AND hopefully someday we will get what we want to hear. To hear them tell us they are sorry…but… do WE really need that to move on? Or is that just icing on the cake? BTW do not allow this post to make you think I am totally with it or am happy about this… I struggle with this every day too...
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
