I am actually REALLY busy this week, and won't be home hardly at all.
And she is busy working over guy #3, and apparently left him a present in his cube as a "housewarming" gift.
And you guys are right. With some of my free time I am going to pack some things of hers away.
It doesn't matter WHAT I do, I am always going to be "psycho" to her. So I might as well get her out faster, so she can make some more horrendous choices.
I'll keep an eye on her here and there to protect myself too. Plus is is a little bit comical just HOW she is pursuing all these guys. "How to attract a guy" searches usually work all the time right, especially when you are moving in with him to date and start a relationship.
I am just going to stay crazy busy these 2 weeks, and make her REALLY go out of her way to get ANY of my attention. And that is MUCH more than she EVER deserves.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
Good plan.. ignore her emails and such.. and it sounds like she likes to do things in person... And you seem to always oblige.. if she tries again just say
Thank you Mike, I had'nt even considered inviting roomies to stay to keep the house.
QS I think Mike has a great idea there about sharing the house in order to keep it.
I don't understand why you can't keep the dogs yourself... why do they have to go with her? If YOU have a house and SHE only has an apartment then they belong in the house... espcially if they are med or large dogs...
My only concern with your strategy QS is this consistent beating you give yourself convincing yourself that your wife wants to be far away from you...
She does NOT. SHe wants to escape her pain and how miserable she feels. SHe has the idea that it will go away when you do... It does NOT... it will go away for a few weeks but it will come back to haunt her...
You seem to want to beat yourself up and think YOU are the source of yoru wife's misery.. SHe's not your responsability dude... She has to make herself happy just like you do.. wtihout hurting each other that is...
YOU are doing that... SHE is not...
SHe's not escaping you QS, she's deluded into thinking when you are distant how miserable she feels will go away and won't ever come back... She's mistake... and if you believe her then you are mistaken too...
THIS is why I love to follow along other people's sitch's. This is great advice for anyone with a WAW, including myself. I just copied it so I can re-read it whenever I need to.
Keep that head up QS, you gave me some good advice, this is one of the best I have read. It makes perfect sense to me, and good luck!
Last edited by Dazed&Confused; 08/04/1008:55 AM.
Me:33 W: 31 M: 8 T: 13 S: 6 D: 8 months The Bomb 7/22/10 "I can't do this anymore, I'm done" http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2048765&page=1
Oh, you posted that one before. I saw it and it made me sick to my stomach too.
Well anyways, I have been so busy lately that I haven't even had time to think about getting on here. I get home from work, take care of the dogs, and I am out the door about 15 minutes after she gets home.
I then get home and she is usually in bed. And she is slowly packing her things, but I am keeping a CLOSE EYE on what she is taking. Already took a few things back, and hid them neatly away. Plus I took digital pictures of the things she is taking AS PROOF that she took them.
All in all I really could care less about her moving out. If she does sneak something away that I want, I can always pop on over to her new place for a visit and ask for it back.
She has stopped going to the gym (that I know of), she was in her PJs at 6pm yesterday, and she or called texted NO ONE after 5pm. She hasn't been on Facebook in about 4-5 days too.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
She has stopped going to the gym (that I know of), she was in her PJs at 6pm yesterday, and she or called texted NO ONE after 5pm. She hasn't been on Facebook in about 4-5 days too.
Either reality or depression is sinking in. Doesn't sound like someone brimming with excitement to start a new life...
Let me ask you this.. if when your marriage first started to turn downward your wife can HERE instead of the routes she was taking do you think she would be where she is now?
I honeslty think she just took teh wrong path and it spiraled out of control. You are lucky you found this place or you could be just as mean as her right now
Your wife went to unhealthy places for her marital problems and look where its gotten her
angry and insecure... and headed for divorce... not healthy at all dude...
I personlly think that this is a very important question. I know that for me, this site has saved me from turning angry, vindictive, you name it. Like Allen said, you have a choice what path you decide to embark. I am not saying that I still do not get angry, quite the opposite, but I handle it much differently.
The problem with the WAW is that she has got to want a support group that is open minded. From my brief experience, it seems like most WAW's go the support group that will tell them what the want to hear, instead what they need to hear.
For example, my wife lost her mother when she was young. She bounced around from step family to step family and never really had "steady" parents. We have been together for 13 years, and her and my mother have become quite close. She had even mentioned it to me many times in the past. If they were so close, why didn't she go to my mother for advice, help, ect.? My mother has taken her side against me before, so it isn't like she could have been afraid that my Mom wouldn't listen.
My mother even emailed her after she found out about us to let her know that she was there for her. Still no contact from the wife. Hopefully my mother doesn't take offense, but my point is, they seek help from where they will get the answers that they want. Sites like these will provide support from all sides, which is probably the last thing in the world that they want.
Again, my .02
Me:33 W: 31 M: 8 T: 13 S: 6 D: 8 months The Bomb 7/22/10 "I can't do this anymore, I'm done" http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2048765&page=1
Yup, this is pretty standard... up one day down the next...
You are managing incredibly well... photographing the move, sneaking property back to avoid confrontation, not harassing your wife and letting her dig her gravesite... well done
I know its hard, but the way you are going about everything is the healhthiest route you have to trust us there...
Keep busy, sounds like you are, but that's probably one of the most important right now...
Try to pack some of her things too... This will show her you are ok with her going I think...
