Grew up with a controlling and hyper-critical mother. Never could please her - she always had a complaint. Only one way to do things - her way. Follow in step all was fine, do something different and the battle was on.
Holy f@ck!
Spot on me too. W #1 same way as you.
My W now quite the opposite. Guess what? Mommy don't like her.
And
Originally Posted By: CD
Critical, guilt-inducing German Catholic mom. Nice lady. Love her to bits. But as I grew older I saw her "issues'. She got them from her mom. Controlling but also played victim a lot.
Me? Irish Catholic.
And same issues.
This was a huge discovery for me that a lot of my self doubt was born from my Mother's critical view.
How much of our experience is based in that unresloved issue?
Think about it boys.
When I posted above my example of something I wanted to change and that I hadn't healed from my first M...
My mother kept in touch with (still does) my exW.
I finally recently told her that her choice communicated to me that MY choices were wrong. And that she didn't respect my choices.
exW publicly humiliated me through three separate A's over 3 years.
And my mom still wants to be friends?
WTF?
I cannot tell you guys what a break through it was for me to recognize and then confront THAT issue.
It undermined my self esteem and I wasn't even conscious of it.
You ARE carrying those scars into your M.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
