Could you let us know what seems different now? Is there still an ow present? How has your H changed through this process? How have you changed?
Hi Seeking, I have been posting for quite a while now but I had a long break when I was having no contact with H which was until recently. There is an OW. It was during the N/C that H seemed to increase the time spent with her, including a holiday. We resumed contact in June when we had a family dinner for S's birthday. As far as I am aware OW still exists but she doesn't seem to be playing much of a role in his life.
Changes.....there's no aggression anymore, there are friendly, joking texts, there's eye contact, voluntary sharing of information (eg about a job offer), conversation is increasingly two sided (before I asked and he answered), resuming of manners-carrying bags etc, offers to help, more transparency-says I can't because.......
My changes......more accepting that this is a LONG journey, not pursuing (of which I was the queen!!) and letting him suggest and initiate. Now have no expectations. Now say what I think rather than bottling issues and building resentment.
Tonight we discussed how we would handle future arguments and we have a simple 'time out' plan in place.
There's probably more and I'll add to the list as I go.
