My DH and I seperated last year and after six months he moved back ino our family home. He has been back for six months now and has recently mentioned moving out again.
He seems to be all over the board with his reasons on why he doesn't want to be here and of course everytime I do something he doesn't like I get "Thats why I don't want to be here. His excuses range from bordem to lack of conversation to not wanting to be "Tied Down".
Granted we have been together since hihgschool and don't have a lot to talk about. He doesn't enjoy spending time with me and often goes out with friends, females included. If I try to express my feelings about him always being gone or hanging out with other women he gets ticked off and pulls the "fine I'll just stay home and be bored" or he stomps off o the bedroom and goes to bed for the night.
I guess my question is should I let him go or try to save my marriage?
Last edited by Jealousy; 07/31/1005:37 AM.
Me: 30/ H: 34 DD: 7 / DD: 4 Together 16 years, Married 10 He Moved Out: July 2009 / Came Home: January 2010 Left Again: October 2010
I have suggested many things, movies, mini putt, go karts, things we both enjoy (tho he claims we have no common interests). I've even suggested fishing (ugh). When he goes out with his friends he makes up reasons about why I shouldn't go, makes me feel like he's embarrassed by me.
Unfortunately things have taken a quick turn within the past week and a half. When he had moved out the first time, a female friend (friend only) and him rented a house together and things went sour when she was always having male friends stay over, never paid her half of the bills and eventually quit paying rent. They haven't spoken for about six months and this is not the first time she has screwed him over. Than suddenly all is forgiven and they started hanging out again. She lives around the corner from us and he has been going over for several hours at a time, coming home even as late as 5:30am (This is normal for him with male friends as well). But he knows this drives me crazy and pulls the jealousy card on me all the time. NOBODY likes this girl, all of his friends hate her and his family can't stand her. I know he's doing it to spite me. Its like he's sabotaging his own marriage.
I know for a fact that he's not cheating, but have wondered if there is some type of emotional affair going on. I have recently realized that he seems to stop being friends with her when she is dating someone and is her bff again when they break up (they literally started hanging out again within days of her and her bf breaking up). When they were living together he was down right ticked off that he could hear her and men having sex, even told her she couldn't have male friends staying over and such. If anyone says anything about her he gets very defensive, he actually verbally attacked me the other day because I refuse to be her friend again because he doesn't understand why I don't like her. I just don't get what he sees in her, she very selfish and arrogant, ships her kid off as much as she can, doesn't work and when she does its for a week or two before she gets fired, shes a dead beat pot head. The first time we split it was because of all the time he was spending with her and here we are again. I don't get it.
Vent over, sorry
Me: 30/ H: 34 DD: 7 / DD: 4 Together 16 years, Married 10 He Moved Out: July 2009 / Came Home: January 2010 Left Again: October 2010
Sorry dont know much about your thread but what made your H move back in with you? Doesnt sound much like he came home with any commitment in mind and you now just have the badly behaved toddler back living with you instead of being separated!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Its true. I don't believe he came back because he wanted to. The situation with his roommate wasn't working out and well to be honest, as much as I knew not to, I begged and pleaded every minute I could. It was hard not to, as I've been with him since I was 14, he's all I know and of course I freaked out. Everyone said with time it would get easier, but I found it only got harder.
When he first came back we were actually doing pretty well. My pregnant neice and her husband were than evicted and needed a place to stay. I ried to say no as I knew it would be hard on us and of course it was as they fought and we would end up picking sides or whatnot.
He claims I'm miserable all the time when really I'm not. The only time I am upset is if I come home from work and the house is upside down when he was home all day or we have no food in our house and unpaid bills and he's out buying whatever he wants. He is pretty lazy and horrible with money and refuses to work on a budget with me, which is something we have always struggled with and occasionally it gets to me. I'm not sure what I can say or do to turn things around to make him want to help rather than feeling "negged".
Me: 30/ H: 34 DD: 7 / DD: 4 Together 16 years, Married 10 He Moved Out: July 2009 / Came Home: January 2010 Left Again: October 2010
