Bub was very brave at vaccinations - cried when the needles went in, but was quickly settled. Great! She's now sleeping with a smile on her face, so I figure she's going to be fine.
So ...journaling: I picked WH up from the train station so he could come along and support me support our baby get her injections... He tried to get in the back seat with her but there was stuff all over the seat (never rides up front with me! Guess he's trying to tell me something with that - like, uh, he's not there for ME! ) so I made him get in the front, which he seemed disappointed about. I guess he felt he was betraying OW or sad he was not going to ride next to our baby! Or both!
At the centre, he was not super focussed & not intuitive about what he needed to do to make a smooth ride for me...and I guess it reminded me of when we were together - I would often have to 'organise' him. He started taking pitures of her and I had to remind him to keep her settled, and finally said 'this day is about her, not you'. Clueless. Immature. And he's 40!
Even when she was about to be injected (and it was super stressful at this pont as there were hundreds of screaming babies and even the nurses were stressed) I caught him about to take a photo and, sorry, but I gave him a dirty look!! I mean, OK if he was a great Dad and wanted to document an important day, but he's so disconnected I thought it was just a bit wrong, and even a bit desperate that that he'll take pictures of just about ANYTHING.
Then lo and behold, afterwards in the foyer, he asked me if I want him to take a picture of me and bub. I say "OK". Not sure why. I don't trust him to be doing anything for ME - so there's some ulterior reason he wants to this photo... I suspect so he can show our mutual friends/family what co-operative co-parents we make! Call me cynical.
Why do I keep feeling like I have fallen into a damage-control PR trap?
Anyways, he left as soon as we got bub home. I asked him if he was staying longer at the house - he said no, so I quietly but directly showed him the door. I told him to write a plan of when he wants to see her next. He said, well it's pretty easy cos I'll only be seeing her two more times (as of Friday I am going to the mountains for a ski week with parents and family friends...not that I can imagine hitting the slopes between feeds with this depleted body!!), which is the case unless I let him come to see her every day in his final week in the country...
I cannot imagine what is going on in his head right now. Luckily I am enthralled with my baby and don't care as much as I used to.
) so I made him get in the front, which he seemed disappointed about. I guess he felt he was betraying OW or sad he was not going to ride next to our baby! Or both!
