No I do not want to be roommates, but at the same time, do I want to give her some space?yes do I believe things can improve while we live under the same roof? yes.
SO I guess I want to be firm, but at the same time be patient.
We do need to talk about the expenses and how it is playing out.
W came home from work, and asked me if my responses to her emails are me? or am I getting help with them. Sh stated she has noticed a positive change in me and was curious as to the way I respond to emails and in person. I simply said this is one of the issues I am working on. I now act instead of react, think before I respond. I did not lie, I told her I have confided in people to help me with my issues, I did not mention this website only that I have bounced stuff off of people. Her reaction was positive in the fact she did not go ff as to its no one elses business.
She brought up the alcoholic issue again, which I told her I am not one. I told her we will always have a difference of opinion to what an "alcoholic" is. She says an alcoholic is someone who abuses alcohol. So I said, so if you go out to a bar, get drunk"abuse the alcohol" you are an alcoholic? she couldnt respond.
She borrowed my zip drive to pull some pics off of one of our PC's and I told her there were some pics of her on there"she did some sexy photos last year for my bday" anyway I told her they were on there. She smiled and said you better not have shown anyone, I laughed and said they are my pics no one elses.
So again she brought up a conversation I engaged in it, was honest looked her in the eyes as we spoke and it did not turn into an argument. We are going to watch copout together and go to our separate beds.
But I will chalk this one up as another good day. Had a good time with the kids after working all day, made them laugh and stuff in front of the W.'
I feel the W is sticking around and noticing positive things in me and as long as I stick to the tools we will see what happens.
Anyone heard of Love Dare? I ask cuz someone from our church mentioned it to me.
W was kind of moody this morning, let her be moody I was chipper. I have counseling tonight and told the W I need to make sure I am out of the house by 7:30.
She told me she is having trouble sleeping, I on the other hand am sleeping pretty good. She is in the guest bed, not in her room, and I am sure she cant sleep with all the crap going through her head right now. She is trying to stay busy, and I think it is taking its toll on her, she is getting to feel being free with responsibility and a 3 and 5 year old. Not that I am letting her do all the work with them, but when she is in charge of them, I do not help very much. When I have them and am doing stuff with them I dont expect her to get involved much either.
Pretty quiet day, W did not text or email me today, as I said pretty quiet. Waiting for her to get home from work so I can go to see C.
I am working on projects for ym own business as well as putting my resume out there to stay busy and to get something going a little more stable. I think that if I had some stability in my life it would make things much easier.
Will psot later and let people know how the C session went. I havent really had much to post, so Robx has been a little quiet.
Good session tonight. C has heard of DB and also the love dare. He told me not to implement the love dare yet, he says that giving her the space she needs and letting go of the rope is necessary at this point. W has been distant she is playing with pics on the pc burning them to disc.
I feel this weeks test is her being distant and how I will react. My reaction so far is letting it happen. My C also told me it is very natural for the Man to be impatient and want to fix the sitch. He told me to relax focus on me and let things play out.
I came up to work on the computer this morning, and my 3D got into the W's stuff in her room. She poured out a container of lotion(what I thought anyway) and the W got furious. I picked up the bottle(lubricant) and handed it back to W. I started to giggle a bit inside, and the W was pretty embarrassed.
So I guess while we are not intimate she is "holding her own"?
I did bring up this morning about the bills. I told asked the W when are we going to get together on the bills? She kinda beat around the bush and said I have to get caught up on pay. I left it alone for now, but will bring it up again later.
She needs to realize I am not going to cover the bills, like usual and let her bank money she is making. If she wants to leave she can leave, if she is going to stay here and we are going to be roommates we share the expenses. That talk will happen tonight.
So the other day, I needed a bookmark. Looked in my wife's bedside table, and lo and behold, the bottle of Astroglide was there. Normally this would be in her dresser. I sat on this for a week, then noticed she had moved it back to her dresser.
Finally I was too curious and asked her. She said that she was "using it." I said for phone sex? She turned crimson and said no, by myself. This from someone who had been a bit of a prude when we started dating, despite her belief that she was an animal. LOL.
Said that when I was going through chemo, she started. Nice to know that when I was sick, close to dying, she was taking care of Number One.
I think if she hadnt put up such a wall, we would still be intimate. Like I said I feel she is still attracted to me physically, she even made comments to my Mom when they were here last month, that we dont "do" it enough. I have told her so many times, when stress kicks in the sex is the last thing on my mind.
Oh ya it was astroglide as well for the W. Must be some good stuff. And the W has moved it from her nightstand to somewhere else now.
