I am an Engineer too. I have to say that it's a part of my own problems. Like many here before me wonderfully outlined the Engineer's thinking I will not try to outdo that.
In my case my W also is a logical and rational person (when not drunk). That fact completely disabled us to talk about our feelings for 13 long years. Had that happened I won't be in a mess that I am in right now.
We thought that when two minds are alike, there is no need of verbal communication. WRONG!!!
