First of all, it sounds like your W was ready to play hardball and your L was not. If you haven't already done so, consult with one or two other L's- it's often free- and have all your numbers and papers with you when you go. Do this now, like in the next 24 hours. If you need to take some time off of work then do it. Nothing is more important now. Not to get you down- but I've heard it's pretty hard to change even the temporary orders (it can be done) but you should get it the way you want it now, not try to fight it later when it's already established. As one L pointed out to me: "what's going to be your argument when either you've been getting by on this little money for months to ask for more, or when the custody is going well and your x hasn't done anything wrong, to take time with the kids away from them?" The longer those temp orders stay in place and work, I think the harder to fight them later.
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For now, I get the kids on Wednesday nights and every other weekend. I do have the right of first refusal, as does she, when she cannot watch the kids.
So, you're still living together but have a visitation schedule set up? Do you mean this starts in Sept? I can't imagine how they demanded and your L agreed for you to be out of the house in 1 month. I have never heard of this. I would strongly question that with other L's. And so why would you only have the kids this little if you want 50/50 custody? Why did you agree to this?? Again, unless she does something really bad with the kids between now and when you go back to change it, you will have to explain why she should have less time with the kids, and I don't know how easy that will be.
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They wanted to put my bonus in a trust fund to pay the debts, which I was planning to do anyway, but I told them I needed $ for the vacation that W made us keep. I asked for $2000, since the cabin costs $1,100 just to get started. W's attorney asked her and W said - only $1500. I asked her how the kids are going to have a weeks vacation on $400? She didn't have an answer. Maybe I should just cancel it and forfeit the deposit.
IMO- go on it. Like me, it may be awhile til you have another vacation- sorry, but that's reality. Go grocery shopping, do cookouts instead of going out (kids don't care), and make the most of it. In this midst of this sh!tty month, you will have a week away, which you need.
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This is just a temporary order, so all hope is not lost. We now have to go to mediation to determine placement of the kids, which I will fight 50/50 for. We will also try to come to an agreement regarding child support and maintenance payments and this is where W working full time will come into play. If we can't come to an agreement, then we will go to the Judge. My atty says she doesn't think he will be impressed by the pornography argument and that we will get a much better $ settlement than today. There are hearings in Mid October where we will either agree, or not. If not, then they set-up a court date with the judge. I'm guessing there will probably be a hearing, but who knows.
Again, please see at least one other L. It is much easier to get this stuff upfront than to fight to change it later. I'm not an L, but I've talked to several and know a lot of people getting D'd and I would not put money on it being easy to change later. If she's going to put out whatever it is about porn, I hope you have told your L about the A. You're fighting for your kids now and even if you hadn't planned to use that or "fight dirty", she's left you no choice. I just hope you guys can calm down and get through this without litigation so you can parent peacefully. This stuff is so poisonous.
Really, I would not move out with that visitation schedule in place- fight for 50% NOW.
