Registered: 07/30/10 My wife of 16 years (we have two kids) went to see her mom who was dying and called to tell me that our marriage was over. After the initial shock, I found out that she had an EA with OM-not physical. She stated that she wanted to let me know before she was unfaithful. She sent me an email detailing how unhappy she was in the last few years of our marriage. I have felt very frustrated too because it seemed that we could never do anything together (like going away for the weekend) becasue of kids activities. I have tried to set it up with a family babysitter but she shot those attempts down. So now we are in couseling. She is having her relationship on her cell phone by constantly texting the OM. Is there hope for us or am I wasting my time with counseling?
I personally think marriage counseling while one spouse is actively having an affair is a waste of time (and money, if your benefits don't cover it). Even Retrouvaille won't take a couple for one of their excellent weekends if one of them is having an affair.
How do you know they weren't physical?
What have been the consequences -- if any -- for your wife, for your discovery of her infidelity?
She suggested counseling. In regards to the affair, I have no idea but what she has told me. It wouldn't surprise me if they were physical. If she told me that, then I think our marraige would be over. That was one the one things that we agreed upon when we got married. If we didn't have the kids, house, our finances, and our lives attached at so many levels, this would be an easy decision. I would not put myself through this. However we do and I know it would devestate the kids, our finances, and to a degree our lives. The only other thing is that the last month before she told me, we were getting together two or three times a day -- every day. So I am confused as of what to do--I really hate this feeling and I am tempted to give up and move on.
