The LRT is a long, long process. It can take years. I know you don't want to hear that, neither did I. But you'll eventually realize the LRT is about salvaging your soul, not your marriage. It might save your marriage, but nothing is given.
The listening thing. Not to be sexist, but most women talk out loud through their problems, while men want the basic info, and then want to fix the issue. Trust me on this, it has killed my marriage. Read "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus" as well as "The Five Love Languages." You'll start to understand how much importance women place on a partner who listens.
You validate what she says by really listening to what she says, then saying something like "yes, that must have been hard..." or "I can understand why that would be upsetting." The thing is you can't fake this. She'll see right through it.
If she asks you a simple question, give her a normal, short answer, but let her lead the convo. If it's a tough question, answer with something along the lines of "That's a tough question. I don't know the answers right now, I'll have to give that a lot of thought."
When you give adhoc, quick replies to deep questions, you're acting superficially, and in a reactionary manner.
