My New LBS Reality

[irishblessings]

Thanks Seeking and Punkin - your support means the world to me.

Rough day / BIL emailed me to check in and said that it looks like my H is definitely pursuing a divorce and that it IS (caps) the path he is choosing. I about lost my lunch. I guess I'm still in shock and denial.

I feel so pathetic - I feel devastated still - like EVERYTHING I've believed in for 28 years was a lie. I know that these feelings are me allowing myself to be sucked into his craziness but feeling this unwanted and unworthy is heavy on my heart.

I know that I am still a mother - and I am very BLESSED by these kids in my life. But I've also always wanted to be a wife - to share my life with a man who would be my best friend, companion, lover, supporter / all these things I thought I had with H. To have lost all of these aspects is overwhelming.

Many of the supporters on this board talk about giving in to the sadness, grief - letting yourself really "feel" it. My question is then what? How do you pull yourself out? Will peace, acceptance come in its own time?