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I thought perhaps it could possibly bring us a little closer

Honey, bringing you two closer together is way too much responsibility for a baby. It's not her job.

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So are the goals even worth setting, since they end up hurting me when I'm rejected all over again?

You are getting hurt because you have expectations and you are not DETACHED.

Go read the resources regarding detachment. And then read them AGAIN. And then AGAIN. And AGAIN....

Read them every morning if you have to.

No one said "this" was going to be easy. "This" will likely be hardest thing you have ever had to do.

And by "this" ... I mean letting go and FINDING YOU.

It's not easy. But it IS worth it.

Now c'mon girl ... dig deep ... you've got babies, I KNOW you are strong ... let's do this ...

Peace
PEI

Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc