Thank you for the insight. I have been reading alot of your posts. You are very insightful and helpful to us struggling souls.
A battle over how H feels? Yes, it is that. Although H doesn't "appear " to "feel" much, appears to be in the very cut and dried engineer mindset. H is and always has been, a very aloof man, doesn't show his feelings easily. Very self contained. Rarely gets angry, just becomes colder. Not sure how he is feeling, sad somewhat I can tell. H is curious about my "happy face" and positivity. I can tell H is relieved too. No fighting means to him we can split as friends- if we split as friends, there won't be the messiness this time like he had in previous end of first M.
Your point, "What will H be losing". Hmmmm... I need to continue to show him the "real" me, the one who isn't angry, upset, yelling, argumentative, hurt, etc. The DB and 180 is helping me do that. I am very afraid of saying the wrong thing so I keep to myself alot while H and I are home together. Any tips on what I can do to sort of bridge that ? I know it will take time before I trust myself to behave "well" all the time.
Good advice- I already am prepared to agree to the lawyer appointment H brings up tomorrow.I will tell H that I have been thinking and a split is best for us, etc. H mentioned in last Saturday's meeting (we meet Wednesday's and Saturday's to discuss the path to splitting we are on), we "will need to see a lawyer regarding splitting assets, discussing legal sep, D", etc. H suggested we keep costs down by seeing ONE lawyer together. H's first M ended in D and he said ex took him to the proverbial cleaners, so he is quite nervous of costs this time around. What is your take on H suggesting ONE lawyer?
I agree, if I do as you suggest, it IS rather sexy and mysterious and all that. needy spouses are never sexy! Good advice Coach!
