Oh, I think you're right in diagnosing what happened to your marriage, at least from your perspective. The problem is it ignores her perspective. Her perspective is she wants to leave.
If you follow the LRT, which really applies in your sitch, it makes you more attractive to her. It makes her realize what she'll be missing.
I wouldn't bring the chart to counseling. Just state what you think, when it's appropriate. Spend most of the time listening to her.
