You should read RR, Sunny. Don't wait for H to do it. You can apply the things in the book even without his cooperation. It was essential to me in DBing. It teaches you how to use the truth darts effectively. I was amazed how often I said things to my H and a few days/week later, he stated it as if it was his idea.
I walked the fine line of friends/accountability and it worked for me. I think you have a unique opportunity to employ RR's strategies and see what happens. At first you'll get a lot more negative responses than positive but eventually the balance tips.
