I should have had my attorney try the case this morning, but you are given all of this information and then forced to decide in 5 minutes. I went with my attorney's recommendation, but then she admitted later that she blew the money calculation that W's attorney provided. She says we have 14 days to go back to the court to get it adjusted and that she will talk to W's attorney about it. I told her that W's attorney won't change her mind because W need it to pay the household expenses.

I'm just breaking down for the first time since court right now.

In the meantime, while I am paying W to live here, I will have to find a crappy apartment to live in.

This order is only temporary. Which is another reason we should have fought it. She said that when this court commissioner heard the porn arguments, that he would go crazy. She once saw an atty play a tape of a mother yelling at her kids and using the F-word and required supervised visits. I guess that was the risk.

What I didn't think of in the 5 minutes that I was given was that we could appeal this commissioner's ruling to the real judge, on the case, so if it went badly, we could have done that. I don't think we could have done any worse than we did, actually.

For now, I get the kids on Wednesday nights and every other weekend. I do have the right of first refusal, as does she, when she cannot watch the kids.

They wanted to put my bonus in a trust fund to pay the debts, which I was planning to do anyway, but I told them I needed $ for the vacation that W made us keep. I asked for $2000, since the cabin costs $1,100 just to get started. W's attorney asked her and W said - only $1500. I asked her how the kids are going to have a weeks vacation on $400? She didn't have an answer. Maybe I should just cancel it and forfeit the deposit.

This is just a temporary order, so all hope is not lost. We now have to go to mediation to determine placement of the kids, which I will fight 50/50 for. We will also try to come to an agreement regarding child support and maintenance payments and this is where W working full time will come into play. If we can't come to an agreement, then we will go to the Judge. My atty says she doesn't think he will be impressed by the pornography argument and that we will get a much better $ settlement than today. There are hearings in Mid October where we will either agree, or not. If not, then they set-up a court date with the judge. I'm guessing there will probably be a hearing, but who knows.

I talked to W briefly today about the vacation $ and mentioned that this is going to ruin both of us financially. She again said that this isn't about the $, so maybe she will be reasonable. Who knows.

This is where I am at for now.....

Thanks to all for your continuing support and I guess it is time to truly move on now. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive her for this.