My W is the same way concerning the kids' behaviour. She is constantly riding them about something. Especially meal time. The days that she is gone or the mornings I get them ready alone, meals are good. We catch up with one another. We laugh. We talk. When W is here, we are supposed to eat, be quiet and get done. Good family time, huh?
I guess the roller coaster will only get as bad as you let it. You seem to be in the right mindset to do what you need to do. Don't let fear control you as I have, it will only defeat you.
BTW, My wife hasn't had any alcohol, sleeping pills, or headache pills for 7 days! She bought OTC headache pills so that also tells me she is off the prescription meds. Plus my insurance has stopped sending me the weekly paperwork on her pharmacy visits. She has been eating regular meals and not just chips. She has to feel better. Maybe her decision making will improve.
Me 44, W 39, S 6, D 6, M 21 Bomb June 18, 2010 I filed D July 20, 2010 W filed counter suit Aug 2 Rings came off Aug 5, 2010
IDU, I did let fear control me at first. But I have seen a few cracks in her armor. When I agreed with her about our R being bad and we just need to get a D, she said, "I am just trying to be devil's advocate." The more aloof I am about the R, the more she seems to want to ask questions about me or my life. It's the first time in a long time that she hasn't thought about herself. They are just a few questions each day but it is a change.
Our twin 6 year olds are not allowed to talk in her car. she blasts the music so she doesn't hear them. My daughter told me she asked mommy to turn it down and she said no. It's a 10 minute drive. You would think they could all have a nice conversation.
When mom rides the kids. You be nice as pie. I don't soften mom's verbal blows and say "mom meant to say, blah blah blah." I don't do that. I am happy as a lark even when she is spewing to the kids. I stay calm and treat them nice and once they started to come to me for everything and started to "not want to bother mommy" W has calmed down a lot and things with the kids are much better. You take the high road and STAY there. Hopefully she will see the low road does not have as nice of view and will treat your kids nice too. Baby steps. You cant change her and I would not let my W bring me to her level. It's starting to pay off.
I'm starting to learn how to be on the roller coaster. While on a downward path, instead of enjoying "the suck" I look off the coaster at the scenery until I feel we are going up again, then I focus back on the coaster and enjoy the ride again.
Since you are using the queen's spelling, where are you located?
Me 44, W 39, S 6, D 6, M 21 Bomb June 18, 2010 I filed D July 20, 2010 W filed counter suit Aug 2 Rings came off Aug 5, 2010
I am going to tan. Yes dammit I said tan. Stop laughing! I used to nag my W who tanned DAILY! My sister died of cancer. Now she hasn't tanned in 14 days and I am a bronze Adonis without the Adonis part. My 180 is to face my fear and see what happens when I am not white and pasty. My W finds tans attractive and I must say I do think I look better. I am still a stay at home dad and have more access to the sun. So yuck it up my friends. I am secure enough to take it in the name of the 180.
Me 44, W 39, S 6, D 6, M 21 Bomb June 18, 2010 I filed D July 20, 2010 W filed counter suit Aug 2 Rings came off Aug 5, 2010
W uses no sunscreen just oil. I have worked my way down to SPF4 30 minutes each side. It is relaxing, but I think back to how I harped on her not to tan. One more change in my life 99 more to go.
Me 44, W 39, S 6, D 6, M 21 Bomb June 18, 2010 I filed D July 20, 2010 W filed counter suit Aug 2 Rings came off Aug 5, 2010
