My wife and I have been on a few 'dates' since the discovery of infidelity and subsequent separation, and, although she has still not returned home, things have improved slightly.
But I know she is continuing to lie to me about at least one thing. It is a pretty big thing, and this one continuing lie makes it very difficult to believe anything else she says:
On D-Day, I asked her if she used protection. She said yes.
I know the person she had the A with very well: he was once a close friend of mine. He is a womanizer, and was in to statutory rape back when we were in our twenties. He had a little book that he recorded all of his conquests in. He would brag to anyone who would listen that he never used protection. He always swore he hated condoms, and had turned down women who had insisted he use one.
My wife was involved with him when she was young. They didn't use protection then.
I told my wife that I knew she was lying. She would never be able to get him to do something he
A few days later, I asked her again. Did you use protection? Yes! I told you already!
A week ago, when things had improved between us, I asked her again, telling her that I knew she was lying. Did you use protection? She said yes.
Please understand, in one of the emails that I found in my intel gathering, my wife desperately informed him that she had found some reddish bumps on her private parts, and that she was worried she might have herpes. "I haven't slept with anyone else, and I know you don't have herpes, so how could I get herpes?"
His response: "I am sorry about your pain."
This is a woman I sat in the hospital with through her miscarriage. This is a woman I cook and clean for, and work hard for, and buy beautiful things for.
How can I get past this obvious lie? How can I ever trust the person I trusted the most again, if she continues to lie to me about something so fundamental?
