How To Tell The Kids

[Ready2Change]

Hi Dan,

...Court went badly today. My attorney stinks. ...she thought it was in our best interest not to argue the case in the temporary order, but to wait for the final hearing....but my atty did not seem very organized and I was pressured to make a decision very quickly. My attorney says all of this will change in the final hearing...My atty likes the actual judge in the case and thinks we will have a much better result then. Do I stick with her? She has a big name in my town, but I'm not sure she is quite enough on the ball. I feel that she got beaten badly by W's attorney today.

You will need to trust your gut on this...I had one of the top 3 attorneys in my city...He ran the show....Do you think yours will?

My A told me to "Get the F out of the house"...I did. I found a place that was a 3 minute walk to the kids school. I set it up for me and all three kids... My intention was 50/50 parenting....My understanding is that your intention is also...Set your intention and beliefs on that. Find a place for you and the kids....Buy the needed household items....You are a good dad....Your relationship with your kids is the only thing that is important.....Do not let your W take this away....stand up and fight for this....

Two things that you should not bend on:

50/50 parenting

Do not agree to agree to anything less than 50/50...Make sure your A understands this...If a judge orders less than 50/50 parenting, nothing you can do about that besides following his orders, and continue to push for equal parenting....BEST DECISION I EVER MADE.

First right of refusal.

Get this in the divorce agreement. I can not stress the importance of this....If you W is not parenting the kids during her parenting time, Have it required that she call and offer visitation to you FIRST before anyone else...You will reciprocate.

Even if you do not get awarded 50/50 parenting, the FRR will enable you to see your kids more frequently when your W has to do anything...This is very powerful....I strongly suggest that you do not let anyone talk you out of this.....W will most likely agree to this and not know how much control it gives you.......

Plus, no requirement for W to go back to work full-time at this point.

Make sure there is a a plan in the D decree that makes W less dependent on your money to live as time goes by. 50% first 6 months / 40% next 6 months / 30% next year / 20% ..... Or whatever ...You can also argue she has "More free Time" based of you PARENTING 50% of the time.....

I have to be out of the house by 9/1.

I would IMMEDIATELY put most of your energy into finding a HOME for you and the kids as you can .....Full intention on 50/50 parenting.....long term - Week on /week off

My thoughts and prayers are with you....