So, why does that mean you can't tell him that? Email works.
"Gabe,
I love you, I have enjoyed having you back in our lives. I'd love to continue to build an R with you, and if we continue as we are living now, to me that means taking the step to a committed, monogomous R, it means working together to get past the affair, it means creating an R that works for both of us, it means open and honest communication, deep emotional intimacy, mutual concern, compassion and respect. That's where I am. I'm not being fair to myself if I continue to live with you if we aren't together in this.
If we are in this together, that is wonderful. Let's get on the same page. We can try. There are some things that I'll need to take care of myself. Perhaps the same is true of you. Things may work and they may not. If they don't, that doesn't make us bad people.
If we aren't in this together, if you are someplace else, that's fine too. If you don't want to commit to trying to reconcile, to being together in a full-time relationship, and to living together right now, that's fine. We just need to change things. We'll need to back off the romantic R side of things back to a platonic R and you'll need to find new digs. If you want to move away then I'll support that decision. These changes won't mean that you are a bad guy, it just means we are in different places. We will always be parents together to Marc and I'll always wish you the very best, including a wonderful life, whatever that looks like for you."
