I see what you are saying about the kids/private chats. I KNOW he has had them with the kids...they've told me. You're right though - that needs to stop. The older 2 wanted to know how the weekend went, so I told them and forewarned them that he was going to be asked to leave if he could not commit to the M. They agreed.
I agree with everything you've said and you've definitely given me some good scripts to keep to! I felt I did a good job of conveying those types of things last night. I just have to stick to it. I guess I don't present these things until the week is up? Well, unless he brings it up.
I tried hard last night to not argue with him. It probably still seemed like I did at times because I disagree with his point of view, but it was never heated.
Getting him to move past blaming me for his mental state is key here and it just isn't happening thus far. That's what I'm trying to precipitate.
SO... my plan of action is to say nothing until the week is up unless he brings it up. This, of course, is contingent on him continuing to do the homework as assigned. If he is still on the fence in a week, I follow the above script: he either works on things or gets out. If he works on things and stays, I have my list of non-negotiable boundaries. If he leaves, he is choosing the path of D and it is on him - his decision.
In the meantime... Do I get him RR or send him the list? I don't think that was specifically addressed. Helpful or no?
