"although he knew he wanted me and our family and felt he loved me deeply, the fact that I found out actually made the final detachement from her faster and more drastic."
"He kept on about how HE feels humiliated, HE is the laughing stock of all our friends and family, HE feels he f@cked up royally etc."
So why did he do it then? Thought he could lie and cheat and won't get caught with a mistress on the side? Is that why he feels humiliated now? You were fooled for the better part of a year thinking there's no OW!? It would be easier to hear from him that he deeply regrets the suffering he caused you and others around you and asks for forgiveness. Apart from the sad feeling that he supposedly "loved" the OW, restoring trust here seems to be the hardest battle! There will be that long lingering doubt somewhere at the back of your mind. That said you still have to wait for forgiveness to come to you.
