Wife filed for divorce...Is there still hope?

[LSG]

PH,

Mediation is really just about custody, and it does not impact on the hearing, so it is to me just a formality.

I do hope that I will doing okay at the end of it.

[LSG]

Hope147,

I know exactly where W and I stand, and there is an impasse that mediation will do little to change, but I will remain positive that it could help some. I am just done trying and giving anything to her more than I have already.

I have not completely given up, but I just don't really see the M ever surviving. I have to move on. It is funny that I still love my wife very much, but I just don't care to invest anymore time and effort in someone that does not seem to feel the same for me.

I feel more and more that I just don't care anymore.

If she wants the M, she will have to do something to save it.

[LSG]

murrayskeeter,

Thank you for believeing that there is still hope in my marriage because I do not see it anymore. I know that it is always possible. My expectations are that it is over, and we will never be together again. I truly feel this way. I did not always feel this way. I have found that my life is moving forward much more than I thought it would only a couple of day ago.

At a church graduation event for my S and D, something unexpected happened. It caugh me off guard. W actually went which was surprising and unexpected. She seemed to enjoy herself. We talked a little. She even laughed a little during the service and stayed awake too. She was welcomed by everyone, and one lady even asked her to come to a bible school meeting with just ladies. She seemed to enjoy her company alot.

Even more unexpected was that a young woman that I had met just during the last week was very friendly to me in front W while dishing up our food. W was behind me in line, and this beautiful, young lady was helping me and no one else. She ignored W completely, and she touched me on the back, arm, and helped me dish up. She was talking to me so much so touchy, feely that I did not know how to react. It was kind of nice I have to admit. I don't know how W was reacting during this time because she was behind me.

At the end, I said bye to her, and I hugged some of the other woman goodbye, and she came over to say bye again and gave a sweet hug to me in front of W. Maybe it is just me, but it seemed there was some mutual attraction between us. I felt a little strange and guilt at the same time even though I enjoyed it very much. OK, I liked the attention. It felt good.

I am still married, so I did not pursue getting to know her more, but I was for the first time attracted to another woman.

I am just leaving the R talk with my W to none. I just do not want to talk to her.

Thanks for the posting me.

[LSG]

Journaling (Saturday,July 31, 2010):

I woke up at 6:55 am and got ready, and 8:00 am I woke up the kids, dressed, made their beds and breakfast. We went the doggie park and to another park. I had to have them home for D to have her nails done with W. This was from about 1 pm to 4 pm. I reasted for that time. It was nice for me. I needed it. We then went to a Japanese festival from 4 to about 8 pm.

I spent time with the kids watching TV and doing some other things until 10 pm. I put them to bed and they brushed their teeth.

Journaling (Sunday, August 1, 2010):

Again I was up at 6:55 am and had the kids up at 8 am with their beds made, breakfast, teeth brushed, and them dressed and ready to go. I took them to a pet store and got them some gold fish they wanted. We came home about 11 am and set the tank up and let the goldfish go. We watched TV for about an hour with W. Left at 1 pm for kids bible study graduation, and stopped for refreshments at McDonalds on the way there. We stayed about 5 hours and then I took W home, and I went to the beach with the kids.

It was an okay day. I finished by getting the kids ready for bed. W and us went to pick out a movie for the kids together.

I thought how great it is to spend time with my kids. I just love it so much.

W bought some back to school clothes for the kids.

Journaling (Monday, August 2, 2010):

I woke up at 5:45 am and got ready. I did my morning chores too. Woke up the kids at 7 am to take W to work. I needed the car today.

Came home and did some things on the computer, and I washed the laundry. I had to file some paperwork at the courthouse, and it was difficult with little money to get it printed, buy envelopes, gas, and find someone to do a proof of service. Many post offices are closed on Mondays it seems. I mailed the envelop and filed.

My hurt is his toe, and I took them for a hamburger at McDonalds. I came home and did some household chores and routine stuff. I took the kids the an exotic fish store. We brought home some more gold fish.

I showered them, and played some Uno with them. Then I made dinner and W came home about 7 pm. She ate late, and I took the kids to Toys 'r' us for an hour. Them we stopped for some ice-cream at MCDonalds that W gave us $5 for. Of course, she wanted me to bring her something home too. Come home about 9 pm, and I had the kids brush their teeth, and they watched some TV with W and played some more with me. Put them to bed at 10 pm.

I have been busy with searching for jobs online, and journaling here tonight.

[LSG]

Hi Savingmymarriage,

Where is your thread. Do you go by a different name.

I have felt so much like you describe in the first paragraph of your post. I do feel that I so much detached these days, and it has been so difficult to reach this poing in my sitch. I do have momentary lapses where the emostions for her flood, but they have lessened, and the intensity is not as strong as before. I do know that she wants the courts to kick me out, and I will not leave until I have a court order, and if I am kicked out, so be it.

Savingmymarriage you are so calm in describing your situation. The explainations and the way you describe your life really hit home for me because I do see alot of similarities.

It is good you have found an A to help guide you. It is very necessary to have.

Do you appreciate your W not pursuing the D if you think it is alot to do with you having no job? Just curious!

We talk a little more lately, but it is not much. After tomorrow, the M will be further strained. My filing she will not like.

I would love nothing more than my W changing back to the person I fell in love with, but I have realize that it probably will not happen soon enough. Change is always possible I suppose.

Thank you for your very meaningful and insightful posts.

I wish the best and that you are able to somehow save your marriage.

[LSG]

Savingmymarriage,

I have not ever had the money to purchase the books, so I have tried to learn about the contents of them from interacting on this forum.

It is interested to have you describe some of the books contents to me. I appreciate it very much.

My W did say that if we D there will never be a chance for reconciliation. It scared me at that time, but I agree with her now that it probably will not happen.

A small part of me does hope for the impossible from her regarding our M.

Your encouragement keeps me from giving up all hope. I have been so of the mentality lately that I don't want the M, but your posts keep me holding on to the slighest of hope with a positive attitude.

I really do relate to you and what you have written.

Again, thank you so much.

[dad1b1g]

LSG, it sounds like you've got your plan and are working it, that's got to feel like progress. I'm sorry you had to file but maybe it will prompt an awakining.

Good move on the young lady that helped you, probably the best thing you could have done was to make it appear normal in W's eyes. She will see that you too can start a new life.

hang in there

[LSG]

dad1b1g,

Actually I filed some additional informaton regarding the original filing for divorce from W.

I have thought about the young lady alot since then. I have wanted to contact her, but it would not be good for either of us. I still hear the sweet sound of her voice. I am vulnerable right now, so I need to remember that I am married and not ever break my marriage committment. Just because my wife has does not mean I should.

It was nice to be looked at in a positive way. She was so beautiful, and I just cannot get her out of my mind.

I am in good spirits today.

Thanks

[pinhead]

LSG,

I can't/won't date until the D is final. Just not in me, not ready to break my vows til it's done. But it is nice to feel some of that heady feeling about someone else.

For me, this seems like when I was dating my wife the first time. Hanging on every word, every moment was special.

[idontunderstand]

It was nice to be looked at in a positive way. She was so beautiful, and I just cannot get her out of my mind.

I am in good spirits today.

It is, isn't it? Gives you a boost of self confidence!

I'm proud of how you are handling yourself. You are standing up for you and your kids. Good for you.

I'm still following along and learning.

Take care.