What you are doing is working in so much that you see the old wife, you quit now rush forward, and she is justified in her head.
No chance of that, actually backing off a bit.
Still tying to feed the squirrel.
I think I will sit in the rocking chair and watch the squirrel scamper around for a while and hold onto my nuts, while I wait for that pie to finish cooking. LOL
I'll have to youtube PiL
There was a poster that used Swiss Miss BTW.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
Well, I don’t know if this is a step back or not but my W and my D13 had another falling out. Pretty sure that my W is seeing OM#1 again or at least seeing him once every 2 weeks as he lives 2 hours away.
Last week I thought that since my D13 and my W were getting along for the last 5 weeks that it would be appropriate for my D13 to start spending the night with my wife on the regularly scheduled days she is supposed to have both the kids. Up until this point only our S10 has been spending the night with her on Tues and Thurs and every other weekend. My W can only afford to rent a room in a house from a lady that owns the house and has another tenant also. My W only has 1 full size bed and my S10 sleeps with her. My W has made no attempt to secure an apartment or other living arrangements to accommodate the kids better. Well last Thursday night I asked D13 to go over to spend the night with my W and S10. She resisted at first but relented and went over. Well the kids were bored and mom slept on the couch while they watched TV. Then when bed time came and D13 had to sleep on an air mattress on the floor, she was not happy.
When my W called the next morning to see if D13 was going to come over for the weekend, D13 laid into her and said some hurtful things to my W although they were true. My W called me at work and she was upset and asked for my help, I just told her that I would do whatever I could.
Well I convinced my D13 to go out to eat dinner with my W tonight, just the 2 of them. My D13 was calm but pressed mom for specifics on what she was doing on her weekends off. Basically, D13 wanted to know if mom was dating and specifically if she was seeing OM#1. My W responded “I am not going to answer that question” and my D13 responded to her “that is okay, you just did…” .
My W apparently did not keep her cool and got angry with our D13. D13 told her that she wanted mom to come home and be with us again, and if she was going to choose other men over Dad then she did not want to be around her any more.
D13 is okay with not really having a R with her mother and Mom seems to be pissed that D13 is holding her feet to the fire. I tried to tell my W that sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment and later change their mind later.
My W and I talked briefly in the garage after she dropped our D13 off and she started to cry but left before she broke down. All I said at that point was that I will help however I can.
On Aug 26 my W can file for divorce, not sure what she is going to do but I am going to carry on the same no matter what happens. I could clearly see the confusion in my wife’s face tonight, clearly in the grips of MLC, so sad that she is sacrificing a relationship with her husband of 17 years, her 13 year old daughter and the emotional scars on our S10. MLC is so destructive it has ravaged our family.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
Please protect your D13, she is asking for space from your wife. She is a very perceptive girl. Her wishes need to be respected. Your wife must deal with that. Your only requirement is to help D13. I know you were hoping that D13 would reconnect with your W. But D13 has a boundary that should be respected.
Please protect your D13, she is asking for space from your wife. She is a very perceptive girl. Her wishes need to be respected.
Yes she is very perceptive and very very mature. After my W left last night I went upstairs to talk to my daughter and she was just fine. She did not let her emotions control her and she was very calm and collected and she told me about the evening with mom. I think that they may talk and converse again and be in each other presence but I am sure my daughter drawn a boundary with my W and my W does not like it. She is doing what I should have done in the beginning. Kinda funny.
SA, I am picking up the pieces and I feel like I have picked up another child, my W. This feels more like an argument between two teenage siblings than between a mother and daughter.
Lance, Your .02 is worth alot more than .02 in my book....
and thats my .02
Cheers
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
This feels more like an argument between two teenage siblings than between a mother and daughter.
What is wierd is that I have been here and done that. This was constantly going on in my house between my W and daughter. More than between wife and son but that also did occur. This was prior to MLC, but there is no winning from your point of view. If you take sides you are wrong and if you don't you are wrong.
Originally Posted By: missherlove
Lance, Your .02 is worth alot more than .02 in my book....
I can raise my price to a nickel, I am just repaying the nickel I owe you. LOL!
I know I have said this to you and it came from Grace
Your job is not to repair the relationship between your W and your children.
Your job is not to damage it.
Thanks for the reminder Grit, I think I did damage it. It was fine where it was I should have left it alone. Nickel to Grace too.
Originally Posted By: Truegritter
Your W has A LOT of guilt and it IS tearing her up.
I am all for guilt for the MLCr just not the kind applied directly by the LBS.
One of the things she said multiple times last night was "I'm the bad guy". I bet she said that 4 times in the span of 10 minutes.
When talking to my D13 later after my W left. D13 said that her mom said that same thing to her and D13 said to her mom "Dad doesn't think that and neither do I"
I swear we do not give enough credit to the preception of our children.
Originally Posted By: Truegritter
Keep the faith brother.
It got a little shaken today, I am coming back but it definitely took a hit. Gotta go back and find the positives.
Is it Little Friday yet?
Thanks for the support everyone. Kinda needed it today.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
Shaken brother but NOT broken! Not broken one f'in bit. Your a hell of guy dude. As we NYer's would say...your one strong SOB!
Look the thing with your D and your W - you know that is between them. My only advice would be the same advice I would give to every situation.
Do what is right! Period. No buts, no what if's, no nothing. Just do what is right.
The issues that is going on between your W and your D are between them. Personally, I think your W should feel the guilt of all of her actions.
Your a hell of a dad dude.
P.S. thanks for the ear yesterday.
Love ya man, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
