Well after all of that, last night I feel asleep, I woke up about 130am and she and I bounced back a few text. I told I wish she was over her laying beside me, and I got back the classic I dont know what you want me to say line. So I took it instride and send back " I just want to hear that as of today you havent gave up and your hanging in there". I didnt expect to get a response but what I got back was "Im not going to lie to you right now so Im not going to say anything". So of course I call for 30 seconds and ask if that means she quit aleady and if the asnwer is yes that doesnt mean it will always be yes and she said She didnt know. Said something about if something didnt happen,about not leading me on. (Standard answer to anything is IDK) I asked why are you still going to counseling, same answer IDK. There was some other things said I cant remember what it was but nothing important.
So that brings me to today. I think I have seen the light. In my opinion she has her mind made up already and is just not saying it ( I think she feels quilty and ashamed for what she is doing but she cant help herself). I think all this "trying" is a show to me, my family, her family and to be able to somewhat tell the kids down the road she tried. But deep down she knows. Everyone knows she hasnt. I can kill myself with effort when there is a legit chance but now I feel that I and my kids are being played. I can deal with myself, but with her brushing off the last chance my kids have a having their family togther with no effort and half hearted attempts, really really bothers me. There is nothing I wouldnt try for my kids. Dang this has only been 4 sesssion and seperated for 8 weeks and not talking to the OM for 5 weeks and she quit a week ago. Unbeleiveable. So today Im going to tell her that in the next few days the truth will come out becuase you cant fake real effort. And if that is the case that I am 100% done with her. I will always do what is best for my kids and support them fully and work with her for them, but outside of that, dont speak to me, no calls, dont hang out, AND STOP ASKING ME FOR FAVORS. Plus she always asks my mom to watch the kids for her to do more at work when im at work. We have a long standing pack that the kids will not ever do a day care and she knows and I dont think she would break it. This is a combo between Marriage Builders ( no contact) and this sites LRT. And its not to get her back, its so I can start to prepare to get own with my and my kids lives. I see it coming. It will hurt but I will make it and continue to the best dad like I always have. Ill update later.
