# 72 - Could be better, could be worse...

[AliSuddenly]

Hey K, seems you got something positive out of this latest crisis? Well done for demanding that he answer.. I thought it interesting that he did answer all your questions whereas he wouldnt before, but more time has gone by, you have been reconciled for longer, it may be easier/safer for him to answer now?

I liked this bit.."although he knew he wanted me and our family and felt he loved me deeply, the fact that I found out actually made the final detachement from her faster and more drastic." .. how lovely to hear that even during the A and before he detached from her he still knew that he loved you "deeply". I hope that was validating for you to hear that? Yes A's are crazy, they kidnap your brain, IMH experience!

The bit about discounting your values... I dont know, I guess thats where that phrase comes from "all's fair in love and war" - you accept in those situations people WILL hurt you, harm you and do dreadful things. Thats where the forgiveness comes in hey.

And when he said "He kept on about how HE feels humiliated, HE is the laughing stock of all our friends and family, HE feels he f@cked up royally etc." thats textbook hey for these WAS who make bad choices, have A's and then royally regret it. Again, I hope it was validating for you to hear that and for him to be so honest.