Wife filed for divorce...Is there still hope?

[SavingMyMarriage]

Hey LSG,

I was re-reading parts of the Divorce Remedy this evening and I thought of you. You wrote, "I do not foresee reconciliation in the future if the D goes my way at the hearings. I believe that she will hate me forever."

I was reading page 36 & 37: "Although protecting oneself is important, sometimes the very things you do to protect your personal interests jeopardize the slightest hope that you and your partner will remain civil to one another, let alone consider reconciliation."

On a positive note, I again read some very positive stories and some encouraging words by Michele. I’m paraphrasing: Friends and family don’t want to see you hurting, so they might say move on. It might look like reconciliation is impossible, but as Michele wrote (Chapter 14): Expect the Impossible.

Lastly, I like what she wrote on Page 31, about some therapists’ views (and I think this can apply to friends and family members who give advice): “But this doesn’t stop many therapists from acting as if they have a crystal ball. They say, ‘If your husband won’t attend therapy, it means he’s not committed to your marriage and nothing you do will make a difference,’ or ‘It seems as if your wife has lost feeling for you, why don’t you just get on with your life?’ or ‘As long as your husband is having an affair, you might as well assume your marriage isn’t going to survive,’ or ‘Why are you hanging on to this marriage? Your wife has already filed for divorce?’ Although these predicaments make marital repair more challenging, none of them is, by any means, a marital death sentence. Telling people that their marriage is doomed is, in my opinion, fortune-telling at best and unethical at worst.”

Keep your head up!