When I read your response it made me think that cycling might be a 180 for you?????? Obviously it would only make sense if you could have at least some interest in cycling yourself. Don't know if I would be so into cycling if I lived in hilly terrain like you. Just putting that out there for you to consider........Cycling is great for your b****cks and legs!
In my case, ping pong (PP) has really turned into a strong thread between me and XH and looking back it's interesting how this evolved. XH played racquetball for 30 years and is very good at it. I became interested in taking PP lessons when I learned how good this sport is for your brain....and I saw it as a way to meet people and make friends during the winter months here. In addition, a very small part of my brain thought that my taking lessons might intrigue XH, but this was not my primary reason for pursuing this sport. I found a PP coach and started taking lessons......Meanwhile, unbeknownst to me, XH was being told by his orthopedic doc that he can't play racquetball anymore because he is on the verge of needing a knee replacement. When I tell XH I am taking PP lessons he is intrigued........then, he and BMF (very negative influence) have a falling out and now XH is looking for people to have fun with.
The first time we practiced PP together 2 months ago XH was very distant ------ the alien himself. I kept it light and fun that evening......... Fast forward to this evening......... On very little notice XH and I moved up our planned Wednesday PP game to today. We played this evening for 1 1/2 hours and the man who showed up was very much like the man who courted me 7 years ago. We both giggled and laughed the entire time. XH was spinning around in circles in between his shots....and I surprised him with some really good shots myself!
Afterward we walked to our cars together. XH had spent the weekend visiting friends who own a resort in a neighboring state. XH and I stayed at the resort together when we were courting....and I giggled to XH remembering that when we stayed there in November it was so cold that when XH had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, he just cracked the door open and p**ed (no indoor plumbing). I was afraid of bears (sorry Flowmom) so I just "held it" all night. I think it was a good opportunity to remind XH of a good memory that we had shared...........When we finished chatting XH leaned forward to give me a hug (I typically wait for him to initiate hugs --- he often hugs at least once per interaction). It was weird, but at that moment I almost leaned in to kiss him because our time together had been so warm and fun, that I forgot for a moment that we are D'ed. I had been transported momentarily to our courtship. That feeling really surprised me because have suppressed those feelings for so long and am very careful not to initiate romantic contact with XH. Makes me wonder if XH may have felt something like this too?
Just before parting I asked XH when he might be able to help me with a few things around my house (he agreed to barter services 2 months ago but I hadn't really followed up with him before now ----- was following his lead). He said that he had been waiting for me to ask him! Well this reminds me of a pattern in our M and past R ---- I initiated things because H/XH held back. This makes me wonder if he is holding any thing back about his thoughts and feelings now??? Does any one have any thoughts on this?..........Anyway, I think XH will be coming to the house on Saturday afternoon to help me clean out my gutters and fix a light fixture.....
In retrospect it seems miraculous the way this is unfolding. I couldn't have planned this better than it is happening right now. I have no idea where this is going (don't worry, no expectations, I am following XH's lead), but regardless of where this road takes us I am very pleased that the hurt is dissipating between XH and me.
I think it was a good opportunity to remind XH of a good memory that we had shared...........When we finished chatting XH leaned forward to give me a hug (I typically wait for him to initiate hugs --- he often hugs at least once per interaction). It was weird, but at that moment I almost leaned in to kiss him because our time together had been so warm and fun, that I forgot for a moment that we are D'ed. I had been transported momentarily to our courtship. That feeling really surprised me because have suppressed those feelings for so long and am very careful not to initiate romantic contact with XH. Makes me wonder if XH may have felt something like this too? 