Seperated But Living Together

[Truegritter]

It is only the end if you say it is the end.

If he files then he files.

Nothing you can do about that anyway.

My suggestion I already gave you.

DETACH.

Read the detach link already given to you.

[2gthrButApart]

I'm torn. Tomorrow I find out the sex of the baby. Do I bother contacting him to tell him or let him find out through FB or soemthing. He knows about the appt, so it should be his call to contact me to find out right?

[Truegritter]

2BA

I would not contact him for any reason that is not life or death based on what you have told me.

I think if you call him or contact him about this it will be another opportunity for him to make you feel like sh!t.

You don't need that anymore...

He has made himself clear so there is no reason for you to talk to him.

Let him live with his choices.

This part (detaching) is going to be hard.

BUT

You must do this for yourself and your family.

[2gthrButApart]

I think you're right. A little after I wrote this, he sent me a text and said never to contact him until the day he dies, unless it's about the kids or bills for the kids.

[punkin]

2gthr,

As hard as this may be to take, that's YOUR baby. If he isn't taking responsibility, why should you feel obligated to let him know anything about it. You take care of yourself, your kids, and leave him to dig his own grave.

DETACH - so much easier said than done, but once done, is a life saver.

[2gthrButApart]

He is taking responsibility now, plays with my stomach, talks to it, sings to it, and has been buying it the necessary items for when it's born. He says he loves the baby. Each time he calls the girls, he asks to put me on the phone and asks how the baby is doing. Or he'll text me and ask.

This is just all so damn confusing. I'll see what happens tomorrow. I just know I'm not trying anymore. I'm not DBing or anything else bc to me that's trying. I'm keeping my distance and keeping communication short. When he files he files, nothing I can do, and I won't fight someone to be with me. I deserve better than that.

He "forgot" to print off the paperwork for his lawyer, after the whole damn argument he caused, so I told him to FW me the email and I'll print it off and mail it. He said "Let's see"...... WTH?

I'm not letting him drag me down anymore. My bday is 8/13. He already informed me he's working that wknd and will not be coming to visit the girls. So I'm making plans with my DD's, dinner a movie, and mall time sound great to me.

[punkin]

You go girl. I've found out that it is better to be alone than to wish I was. My friends are much better company than he ever was. Am I still DB'ng? I don't really know, but I do know that I am 200% better than I was last February, and that was before we split up. Your baby, unplanned or no, is no excuse for his behavior. You didn't get that way by yourself.

[2gthrButApart]

I'm not better yet, and I never really wished to be alone. I was always willing to try ANYTHING to fix our marriage.

I grew up w/ a part time dad and it is the LAST thing I ever wanted for my kids. My H swore he'd never be "that guy" that's why I trusted him enough to have a family with him.

Now I'm here, and he's just happy with his decisions. And if he isn't, he's making sure he pretends he is just to prove to me he's right. I'm sick of him seeing me as the enemy. It's poison in my life. I was always the happy smiling person, he has brought me down, b/c I let him. I devoted too much of my life to this M.

[Truegritter]

I'm sick of him seeing me as the enemy.

You are the enemy becasue you keep fighting him.

You need to let him go.

I was always the happy smiling person, he has brought me down, b/c I let him.

Yes you did.

You gave him that power.

Guess what?

You can take it back whenever you want.

You are going to have to reach down inside you to find yourself.

You are not going to get help from H or anyone else

This has to be done by YOU.

Your children's wellbeing depend on you and only you

...right now.

You CAN do this and you MUST do this.

[2gthrButApart]

You're 100% right. Today a female friend of his wrote on her FB "Home relaxing with the kids" He replied to her status immediately "That's nice, you're so sweet" .....Always ready to compliment EVERY other woman except me, for YEARS!