OK, by saying "relationship" but not working on "marriage" he's saying something a guy can get right away :
I want to pursue and end to this marriage, but I don't want to feel bad about that. More important I want you to be happy about my abandoning you and this family. I want to fully preserve my public image as a great father and a great husband, so I want you to be nice to me and not rat me out or trash me to all of your friends.
In short, I want an exit that causes me no inconvenience or embarassment whatsoever. I am chosing to leave, but I don't want any of the unpleasant consequences that may come with that.
He wants to CAKE EAT... I have and you have to, seen this on this forum where the wayward wants to leave, but says "I want us to still be friends"
By "relationship" he means he wants you to be all friendly with him after he is divorced, like you two are best buddies still... You ok with him walking bout but dropping by to do laundry or use you whenever it suits him?
He's trying to soften his exit as much as he can... He doens't want any drama... He wants to abandon his family but there to be no adverse consequences. That, in a nutshell, is what he's saying.
OK, I get it. I didn't want to totally believe it, but you're saying it solidifies it in my mind. I talked to S16 and D18 today about the weekend. They are in agreement that this is not what I deserve. Next I need to talk to S14 which is going to be rough.
SOOOO... in this context, should I forget any allowance of him staying in the home and "doing the homework/program - working on the relationship?" Should I abandon that all together and tell him to leave if he does not want to be in this marriage? Is doing the "homework" going to get him to the point of wanting the marriage, I guess is the bigger question. ???? Hmmm... something to think about. What do you think?
