Happy Bombaversary to me...happy bombaversary to me...
Everyone join in! You all know how it goes!
Well, I did it guys. With your help, and my RL friends, I'm here. I got through it.
The days leading up to Aug.1st were hard. More than the date, though, was the unspooling of current and past events.
Because my work has a regular rhythm, it plays out the same...like Groundhog's Day.
This night, the night of the Spanish play last year, X had OW over to the house, to show her what his life was like.
Today, the day after the Spanish play, X and I went for a bike ride. The day unfurled just like always. Until he looked at me and said " we have to talk"
The day after...etc.
Today, Monday, going to work triggered all the feelings of last year. This day, last year, I staggered into work. Acted as if (AFAIK!) everything was normal. Carried on, while inside I was dying.
Etc. Re-living the moment, like being a time traveler who knows the meteor is going to hit the Earth, but is powerless to stop it.
But now it is the 2nd. Moved past the calendar anniversary of August 1st, and the event anniversary of shows/work.
Stacked 3 1/2 cords of firewood this weekend. Let me tell you, there's a lot of therapy to be had in stacking firewood! Maybe I should hire myself out. I'd get a great workout, earn some $, and solve the world's problems. Or at least mine.
Sooo...the thoughts and tears and feelings are there. But I survive them. I gently shoosh away the thoughts. I acknowledge the tears and feelings.
There's more tears to come, I know.
And more joy. So everyone says. And they were right about me surviving, so maybe they are right about that.
