I taught one of "Sandi's rules" was fix the car your wife drives your kids around in even if you are not getting along.
Hey, I had a new throttle body and TPS switch, new heater core, new tires, new brakes, and regular service done on my STBXW's vehicle all while she was telling me how much she couldn't stand me and how she wanted a divorce.
I never even thought twice about that stuff.
Does this mean I did something right after all?
Last edited by TimeHeals; 08/02/1007:17 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
People say things in anger. Discard it all. Don't react. Do the DB and do a 180. But don't be a doormat either. Just act "as if". This is the most important thing we can do. I am seeing some results by doing the 180, although I still believe H is planning to get a D, as he thinks to resolve our problems he needs to "get rid of me". I know M is much more complex than that. What we do not resolve always comes back to bite us on our behinds.
Doing DB and doing a 180 helps US. Don't ever forget that you are doing DB and a 180 for yourself FIRST.
BURIED at work today, and trying to catch up with everyone after being on a little R&R with the family this weekend, but I did want to say:
1. I'm sorry you're having such a down day; and
2. THIS, however, was CLASSIC:
Originally Posted By: A_goodman
For instance, we got to our destination and she spent 10 minutes fretting over all the trash the boys had left in the van. It was comical, it was 100+ degrees outside and she's climbing around the van tidying up. I gave her the keys and turned to go inside. She got pissy about it and I told her: "look, we just drove 3 hours to get here and I don't want to stand in the sun watching you clean the car out. I'll be inside with the kids when your done".
yes you did a great thing with your w spewing in getting the car fixed. to me indicates you know where your priorities are and care for the safety and well being of children even if that means fixing the w's car.
could you call and tell my h this is a good thing, he washed his hands of my car and now we ride the bus, pick up groceries, 45lb bags of dogfood 25 lbs of cat food, water in a jogger stroller with 2 kids on 3 and other 5 months.
oh yeah in phx, az, hot hot hot.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
Ok, I get all of this. I agree With Sandi's Rule too. For the record, It's my car that is a piece. Her car is actually pretty nice. Everything that needs to be done is just normal mx and I'm happy to do it or get it done. Funny how this weekend we put 400 miles on the van and she didn't mention this.
TH, that was a lot of MX. Sorry to hear it was appreciated as much as everything else.
Actually, my car isn't so bad. it certainly isn't unsafe and is still pretty dependable (it's a honda). It just requires more vigilance about the fluids and you have to shut off the AC at stoplights. I don't want to drive it either, but it gets the job done. The tires are good. The breaks are good and it starts every time.
I guess it just struck me te wrong way this morning. I can't blame her for not wanting to drive around in old paint. I guess it'll be an opportunity to work together on a sloution.
ADAPT. OVERCOME. IMPROVISE. -Tom Highway
Me: 43 W: 40 S12 & S9 Married 17yrs Together 20yrs
Frustration is a form of anger. When most of us are angry we tend not to get good results.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
For instance, all my bitching and moaning was done here today, so when I get home, I'll still be JoeCool. Plus I learned some things today, so that's a bonus.
What happened to the stogy thread. Think I'll go find and resurect it.
ADAPT. OVERCOME. IMPROVISE. -Tom Highway
Me: 43 W: 40 S12 & S9 Married 17yrs Together 20yrs
For instance, all my bitching and moaning was done here today, so when I get home, I'll still be JoeCool. Plus I learned some things today, so that's a bonus.
What happened to the stogy thread. Think I'll go find and resurect it.
Do that. Had your recommended Punch Rothchild last nite, and it was AWESOME!!!
