New Game- Exposed

[steady]

Wow CD you got some great advice up there. I am printing out missherlove's two posts above. Excellent advice.

There is only one no-fault state and that is NY. A no-fault bill just made it through and is awaiting signature from the governor. Consensus is he will sign it.

I read a reaction from someone online about it and I thought it hit the head on the nail - It's now easier to get a divorce than it is to get out of a cell phone contract. Really sad state of affairs.

CD, I'm not sure what state you live in but in NY an affair really has no bearing on child custody/support anymore - or so I was advised by my L.

I also agree that any more exposure work from this point is worthless. The only reason to keep exposing now is for you to get some vindication concerning the lies she is telling people about you and her A. I understand because there is part of me that wants that same vindication - to show my W's lies are just that. But as you read in No More Mr Nice guy, it's only an attempt at regaining the approval of the other people that are in the mix. Her people.

Don't bother. They will think what they want to think regardless of what you show them. You showed them the proof, now they're react accordingly to it. Or not react at all. It really has nothing to do with you anymore. You know who you are. Your friends and your family know who you are. For me, that's enough. (Most of the time. I do mentally backslide sometimes)

The intel you want to have is anything about W putting kids in situations that are inappropriate or unhealthy for them. ie: Sleeping with OM while kids are in the house. I would aim at behavior on W's part which would help with custody issues.

I'm not sure if you've consulted a lawyer, but if you haven't I would highly recommend it. Find out all you can about what does and does not affect physical custody decisions. With that in hand I would keep detailed notes, carry a tape recorder for a possible verbal slip on W's part - take detailed notes of things you observe about her, things you hear and from whom (dates and times) etc...

I would only do this on issues concerning custody - or any other issues that may be impacted by poor decisions by W. ie: finances, etc...

I took notes even on things that didn't seem to matter. Some of those things I used later on, so it was a good thing I had them. I'll give you an example. Back in March my W sent me an email inviting me to spend the night at the house with her and the kids so we could wake up and do Easter morning together. Of course, I declined.

When she tried to get a restraining order against me last month based on an incident where the police came to our house in January I was able to produce a copy of the overnight invite. The judge was very interested in it - and even admonished my W a bit. Said, "You're telling me about an incident that happened in January and here I have an email where you're inviting him to sleep over in March."

Like I said, take good notes.

I don't think you need intel on when the A unravels. That's only for your own gratification and has no bearing on any legal action or decisions. What does it matter if the A crumbles. At that point your W may or may not come around looking for you. You won't change your game-plan because you will be in full swing of creating an awesome life for yourself and your D.